| Funny. |
[ | |
Posted on July 14, 2007 @ 12:32 am
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
fucked in the ass. |
] |
As of now, there is no more "Kaleb and Sakey". I'll probably make myself a new writing journal, rather than sit and delete all the stories I wrote for them one by one.
From now on there is an "Alaric and Sakey", so don't be terribly surprised if ficlets and one-shots about them start cropping up.
|
|
| Questions. |
[ | |
Posted on June 30, 2007 @ 10:17 pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
floaty. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
where is my mind - the pixies |
] |
1. Leave me a comment saying that you want me to ask you 5 questions.
2. I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate.
3. You will update your LJ with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview ask someone else in the post.
5. When others comment asking to be asked, you will ask them five questions.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) kaitlinbell asked me :
1. What do you miss about Brownwood if anything? Do you miss your park? =]
I miss my grandparents' street. I miss my park and my swing. I miss Chelsea and Jimmy. I miss dicking around with my stupid little brother. I miss my grandparents. I miss my pickle juice snow cones. I miss you.
2. What was the last dream that you had and remembered?
I was in a large building with a very small room that lead into a rollercoaster ride that went straight down. I hadn't meant to get on it, but for some reason, I did, and I cried the entire way. It scared the utter shit out of me. The car looked like a merri-go-round with handles and no seatbelts, and I thought I was going to fall. I almost did, and when I got off, I was so terrified that when I climbed back onto the platform to get off, I collapsed on it, clinging to it, and I absolutely refused to let go so none of the other riders could get on, and I could see the room spinning I was so dizzy.
The manager of the ride was dressed like a carnival man, with the striped shirt and little had, and he had to pry me off the platform with his hands. Then he sent me into the next room over, which was much bigger and open. It was very pretty. There were huge windows where sunlight was coming through - it looked a bit like a mall courtyard with very few people. There was a small booth to the side that was shaped like a sphere, but it was partially open and Kyouya - from Ouran - was sitting in it.
It was full of blankets, they covered the seats, and I went to sit by Kyouya. I assumedly knew him, because he asked me to sit by him, and when I did, I just held him. I knew he was upset without actually knowing, and while I was holding him, he got a phone call from his father, which upset him even more.
And I woke up. It was a strange dream, but the second half was nice.
3. Favorite memory involving a color. I've heard of scary yellow bathrooms but not of one that made you happy or content.
Red. My bedroom in Lubbock was white and red. I've never been so happy as I was when I was in that room. It was tiny, and I had a lot of things, but it was mine. I had red flowers, a red comforter, red pictures and a Chinese lantern my mother bought me for Christmas.
This is a really hard question. I have better memories revolving around color; I just sometimes can't tell when something in my head actually happened, or if it's a very strong delusion.
4. What kind of silly underwear are you wearing? ;] (had to ask, you have so many strange kinds! You should have a museum exhibit.)
It's actually really boring, right now. I'm just wearing a really soft white thong that is insanely comfortable, for being a thong.
5. What do you feel like doing at this exact second?
I feel like crying. But it's the good kind of cry, when something is beautiful, or just good. It's a strange feeling that I can't quite explain, but it's a good thing. I feel ... happy.
|
|
| Holy mother of Christ. |
[ | |
Posted on June 28, 2007 @ 1:02 am
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
fucking hyper. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
oasis - fucking in the bushes. |
] |
I am so bloody fucking hyper right now, it's rifuckingdiculous. No idea what the hell is wrong with me. I'm not high or smashed or hammered or stoned or baked or any of the above, I'm just really mother fucking hyper.
I really want El to come back also. I'm about to go mental without her, I swear. LOUISE, COME BACK TO ME PLEASE. I LOVE YOU.
I'm pretty sure Snatch is the most amazing movie in the fucking world and I want to watch it over and over and over tomorrow. I can't right now, considering I'm at my cousins' house, but still. Tomorrow. It will be beautiful. Fucking in the Bushes by Oasis, ftw.
Reservoir Dogs was incredibly fucking depressing. I liked Mr. Orange and I don't care what you say. He and Mr. White had a thing going on, if you guys didn't notice. 'cuz I did.
My roof is leaking like a mother fucker. I cannot wait to get out of the god damned train room and into a real bedroom, plz. Even if it does have an ugly pink wall. There is such thing as paint, you know. Then I can make my room Silent Hill-y and amazing. Pyramid Head and my dresser for the instafuckingwin.
God damn I'm hyper. I really, really am. And no body is on to listen to me act like a retard, except for T, and that makes her cooler than you. ):
Rennie, Amanda, and Vicky still make me fucking laugh. I will never take them seriously for the rest of my life.
I still want to stab Louise's stalkers in their fucking twats. Back the hell up off my partner in crime, bitch tits.
I read Fight Club yesterday. Jesus H. Christ, I felt like the most miserable piece of shit in the universe for about ten minutes after I finished that book. It was an incredible piece of literature, truly a work of dark, macabre art that I pretty much devoured in about three hours, but after I was finished, I did not EVEN WANT A SOUL. I felt dead inside. But ten minutes later, I was alright again. We watched South Park. It was good. Tyler was fucked up and Marla was fucking irritating. But I survived.
I've had about seven dreams with actual characters in them. They've all been glorious, and god damn it, I want more. Why don't they happen very often? I've had two with Kaleb and Sakey, both of which actually scared the shit out of me because I thought one of them was going to die. One of those dreams had Alaric in it. I've had two dreams with Kyouya in them, both of which ALMOST became sex, but it didn't happen. What the fuck is that shit. I've had one with the cast of Digimon: season 4, including Koji, which amuses the hell out of me for obvious reasons. I've had one with the cast of Dragonball Z for some reason? And one with Walter Sullivan, which was amazing because Walter is sexy and tragic. Wants moar plz.
I should probably shut the fuck up now.
God, I'm going to read this in the morning and be like, "What the bloody fuck."
I don't know.
|
|
| Revelations. |
[ | |
Posted on June 15, 2007 @ 4:09 am
| | ] |
Life sucks.
It's full of shitty people. I realize that. And I realize that having shitty people in my sucky life does not make me special.
It doesn't. Because I realized today that everyone does.
The world is full of shitty people. Of Aylas who lie and betray. Of Taras who think they are better, of Annes who are arrogant and worthless, of people who hurt you and don't care. Everyone will have someone in their life who sucks, and who hurts.
And you know what?
That's fine.
Because the world is also full of other people. Of Louises who love unconditionally, who will be there for you even when things are hard, who you can trust and know that regardless of what may happen, they love you.
Of Graces you can talk to and know they will never ever judge you, who you can bear your soul to and know that it will be okay because they understand.
Of Terris who teach you to lighten the fuck up because life doesn't last forever.
Of Fifis who care and need, of Mighties to respect, of Eris and Kirstens to miss uncontrollably, of Chelseas and Kaitlins who are beautiful and wonderful, of Sarahs and Kaylas and Jordans and Jimmies and Shelbys who are worth dealing with the shitty people who hurt and hurt and hurt because they are good people.
So fuck the Aylas. Fuck the Taras, and the Annes, and the Pauls, because they are not worth suffering over.
Fuck them.
And look at all the other beautiful people who love you.
I love you all.
Thank you so much.
|
|
| Music. |
[ | |
Posted on June 05, 2007 @ 1:59 pm
| | ] |
Tagged by: kaitlinbell
List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to.
Tagging: asyouxlikeit, onsoullessfeet, punday, kogepant, mightier, fifithepirate, & girls_le_disko
1. Animal - Def Leppard
2. Cherry Waves - Deftones
3. Obscure - Dir en Grey
4. Evil - Interpol
5. Dieses Leben - Juli
6. So Many People - Neurosonic
7. Africa - Toto
|
|
| FUCK YOU GUYS. |
[ | |
Posted on June 04, 2007 @ 2:24 pm
| | ] |
Screw Lubbock. I don't know why I ever had delusions of moving back, because it's become really fucking obvious to me that it would be ultimately better for my health if I just stayed the fuck away.
I'm really god damned sick of all your drama. It's ridiculous, it's fucking stupid, and I'm astronomically pleased that I don't have to deal with it ever again.
Screw you all.
house wife lies: If you want to date someone who's cheated on you multiple times, is going to be a father in a month, and do it all behind my back and not tell me like a fucking spineless little pussy, fine. Do it. Enjoy knowing your boyfriend is a sixteen year old dad who's too much of a coward to take responsibility for his child!
If you want to accuse me of shit I don't do to compound the fury I'm already feeling and try to make me feel even shittier than I already do while playing the victim, fine. Have fun reinforcing my desire to stay as far a-fucking-way from Lubbock as I possibly can!
house wife lies: If you want to act like a pathetic little horndog who doesn't respect your girlfriend and cry to emotionally manipulate her into feeling sorry for your stupid ass and rope her into years of mental torment just so you don't have to be alone, fine. Have fun living with the knowledge that karma is a fucking cunt, and you will pay for all the shit you bring on other people.
Screw
you
all.
I'm fucking done. This is bullshit, and I cannot fucking believe that I spent three years of my life trying to protect you all, and love you all, and be the pillar for every god damn one of you, only to have you all blow smoke up my ass and throw it all back in my face.
Fuck you.
Fuck
you.
|
|
| Oh baby. |
[ | |
Posted on June 01, 2007 @ 4:56 pm
| | ] |
I am so pumped, you guys.
All my stuff is in boxes (or taken apart, a la my bed), and I am ready to go. I'm so stoked.
My room is going to be fucking awesome. Mum and I painted my dresser and my shelves black, and she's covering my drawers in this sexy fabric that's khaki colored and totally looks like it came out of Silent Hill, so that's going to be my "inspiration", shall we say.
No I'm not covering the walls in blood, Louise. I'm sorry, baby. ):
But I'm totally going to look for a giant model of PyramidHead on E-Bay or something. I bet I can find one. Ten bucks? Anyone?
No? Alright. I'll probably lose anyway.
So excited.
We're leaving for Fort Worth tomorrow morning.
Wish me luck, guys. (:
|
|
| It's been awhile. |
[ | |
Posted on May 24, 2007 @ 1:56 pm
| | ] |
So sorry, baby.
Today is my last day of school. I never have to set foot in Brownwood High School ever again in my life. Today is a beautiful day.
Unfortunatley, the beauty of this particular moment in time was briefly sullied by one Tara Lynn, who does quite a remarkable job of sullying the beauty in most things if one allows her too.
I was reminded what a cold, heartless, manipulative, sociopathic bint she was today and it was almost refreshing. I almost forgot how much I hate her. Which is a shame, really, because I rather enjoyed her before she became Anne's bitch (we all know Anne has a dick, which begs the question of whether her husband has a pussy or if he just takes it up the ass like his friends do).
Luckily for me, my deft and subtle memory produced a reminder of the one called Rennie, which quite immediately cheered my disposition significantly. (:
I miss that girl. Where on earth could she have gotten to?
I really need to thank her for recovering my entire day for me, the sweet heart.
|
|
| Weird things about god. |
[ | |
Posted on April 26, 2007 @ 9:47 am
| | ] |
I GOT TAGGED BY: kogepant
Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little-known facts about yourself. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird habits/things/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.
1. Courage the Cowardly Dog has the ability to make me cry and mean it. And I don't mind, because I actually like that I can see beauty and emotion where others see a children's show.
2. It infuriates me like no other when someone tells me that something I love is beneath me. I think I'm allowed to decide for myself what's below me or not.
3. If a breast is near me, I will compulsively poke it. Especially if it's big and jiggly.
4. I absolutely cannot be fagged to clean anything if I don't have music to listen to while I do it.
5. I don't give a shit when someone says, "That's gay", as an insult, even though I have a girlfriend and Sakey sleeps with Kaleb. I say it too. If black people are allowed to call each other 'niggers' and think it's funny, I'm allowed to call my friends 'fags' and think it's hilarious.
6. I was born on the cusp of Libra and Scorpio, which makes me both signs. I hate this fact; I think I would like myself much better if I was just a Scorpio and not stuck in between.
7. I blame being a cusp-baby for the fact that I'm utterly fickle and unable to complete anything I start which has told me loud and clear that my writing career was doomed before it began.
8. I really hate most of my best friend's other friends and I'm not entirely sure why, except that most of them are annoying and just asking to be donkey punched.
9. I assume it's up to me to provide a spine to my friends who do not have one, even if they don't want it. If I could kill their net-stalkers for them, I probably would.
10. It pisses me off when I'm upset that I want to write something but can't, and my only response is, "Just write it". Unlike, apparently, some of you, I can't turn my creativity and writing ability on like a fucking tap. Chances are, if you've ever said this to me, I've stopped talking to you for the rest of the night. Sorry. But not really.
I tag my entire f-list. Have fun.
|
|
| Day of Silence. |
[ | |
Posted on April 17, 2007 @ 9:28 pm
| | ] |
Students nationwide take part in a Day of Silence
Get ready for campuses all over the country to be a little quieter. On Wednesday, April 18, 2007 students nationwide will be commemorating the national Day of Silence. They will be quiet all day to protest the discrimination, harassment and abuse—in effect, the silencing—faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students and their allies in schools.
The Day of Silence, a project of GLSEN, will be held during school hours. Hundreds of thousands of students are expected to participate on April 18, many of whom will wear stickers and pass out ‘speaking cards’ that read:
"Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement protesting the silence faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people and their allies in schools. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by harassment, prejudice, and discrimination. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward fighting these injustices. Think about the voices you are not hearing today. What are you going to do to end the silence?"
GLSEN’s 2005 National School Climate Survey found that more than 64% of LGBT students report verbal, sexual or physical harassment at school and 29% report missing at least a day of school in the past month out of fear for their personal safety. The Day of Silence is one way students and their allies are making anti-LGBT bullying, harassment and name-calling unacceptable in America’s schools.
About the Day of Silence
The Day of Silence, a project of GLSEN, is a nationwide, student-led event during which thousands of high schools and colleges protest the oppression of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth. For more information and a complete collection of organizing materials, visit www.dayofsilence.org.
Will you support us?
|
|
| Rofflemau. |
[ | |
Posted on March 21, 2007 @ 5:42 pm
| | ] |
Alright. So I've had a relatively eventful three days this week.
Monday, maybe not so much. Mondays are never eventful. But Tuesday and today have been particularly... interesting. To say the least.
Yesterday, my ear started to hurt again. This was a bad sign, because today we found out it's infected really badly. I didn't even go to school today. So now I'm sitting here, my ear hurts like a mother, and I'm waiting for mom to come home with my ear drops and pain killers. Es no muy bueno.
But - this morning, I woke up from a fucking cool dream. And I can't remember... a lot of it, which fucking bites, because I know it was cool, but I have the basic gist of it, which was that the Royal Family of Spades took over Wonderland in a bloody, violent coup against the Hearts. Damned awesome. In fact, I'm considering starting a writing project on it because it's been too long since I've focused on something without some sort of humor, no matter how dark or dry. And not just because the Princess of Spades was fucking hot.
Of course, I've realized by now what a fickle writer I am, and how bad it is to be fickle when one is a writer, so I'm doubting very seriously I'll actually do it. But I really want to. Hell, I may do it just because Coalescence has no plot, the neo-fantasy has no substance, DOS is a collaboration, and Legend of Mana and Super Mario RPG are fanfiction. Okay, technically this would be like fanfiction too, but if fucking "Looking-Glass Wars" can get published, so can I.
I just might actually do it this time.
|
|
| AHHH. |
[ | |
Posted on March 09, 2007 @ 9:45 am
| | ] |
Happy Birthday, Louey-Pooey.
♥♥♥♥♥
I love you. ): ♥
I WILL BE CALLING YOU ALSO.
|
|
| Sweet Jesus. |
[ | |
Posted on March 09, 2007 @ 8:59 am
| | ] |
I am quite certain that last night, I was subject to the most horrifying dream I have ever experienced in all of my seventeen years of life. It was the most detailed, most vivid, most insane nightmare ever and I swear to the holy mother of Saint Alexander that it could be made into a movie or something.
Okay. So. It started out rather monotonously, to be honest. I was in school at... I don't even know where. But it certainly wasn't Brownwood High School. Maybe it was a warped version of Mackenzie, because that's what it's reminding me of now. It took place in a dark gym, not dark as in pitch black, just relatively dark in the entire mood of the building. For whatever reason, it was full of people, and I'm tempted to think it was some sort of festival type thing.
Anyway, I was hanging out with a bunch of people I don't know, but apparently I did last night, because I was familiar with all of them, and we were lying around in a corner. I had a bottle of body spray and was teasing some girl and spraying it at her, then some boys who were whining that they'd smell like ladies. Which, alright, that was kinda funny.
But then this one girl got pissed off. She scared me from the beginning, even though all she did was spray me back with some really gross-smelling perfume crap. I don't know what it was, but she wouldn't stop spraying it and she drenched my shirt and made me smell awful. This irritated me a lot, namely because she took herself so damn seriously and was honestly angry that I was teasing my friends. And she pretty much ruined my shirt, which I thought was pretty cute, damn it.
Anyway. I got up to call my mother and ask her to bring me a new shirt, and that girl was hovering behind me and harassing me and holy god I was so annoyed.
I don't quite remember what happened next exactly, but I do remember that I met her dad and immediately wanted to vomit for no apparent reason. He just exuded horrible vibes. But anyway. Apparently, he was a coach, which, unfortunately, made him someone important to the school. I will never understand it. Freaking coaches. Of course, he acted pleasant, but I had some inherent knowledge that I didn't want to be around him at all.
Most of the first half of this dream is a blur, because it was the most horrifying part of it, and my brain is most likely trying to block it out while I beg it not to because I need to remember it all. So I'll just have to do the best I can.
So. I don't know quite what happened, but I wound up at his house with that girl. I hate them both, and it turns out I'm actually justified, because they're all, mother, father, daughter, mother fucking insane.
At first I was alone with the mother, and this terrified me beyond reason.
I knew she was going to hurt me, and she certainly tried. I wound up slitting her throat, twice, because she wouldn't die.
Okay, I acknowledge that this makes me sound crazy too, but this was a gesture of complete and utter self-defense, and even in the dream, I didn't want to. At all. I didn't want to hurt her, even though I knew that she would have murdered me and that she knew her husband was a murderer and a rapist and didn't care, I still didn't want to hurt her, especially not kill her. I can remember how awful I felt afterwards, and how, even while I was cutting her throat, I was so scared and disgusted. It was the most... horrid thing I have ever felt, and I can remember it as if I really had done it.
So. I killed her. And I wound up having to kill the husband too when I found out that he raped people, animals, children, and that he'd torture and murder too. I don't remember what I did, I think I stabbed him in the chest, but I do remember that it was every bit as terrible as the wife. I even had to kill the daughter because she wanted to kill me.
That was the first half.
The second half was also extremely frightening, but it actually got better and was pretty damn cool. It was actually very Silent Hill-y.
Anyway. It does tie in with the first half, because it never stopped and became a different dream. I had been in this huge buildling underground, and when I tried to get out, I wound up in a locked house. It looked empty, and it was a little decayed and, yes, extremely Silent Hill-y, but it was daylight outside and though there were no lights on, the sun lit up all the rooms through the open windows.
I thought I was alone, but it was full of dead people, which I didn't even realize until I got into the second story of the house and stayed up there. When I found out about the people, I freaked out and refused to go back downstairs (the door back down was locked anyway). I was in a big, open room with a few hallways that were blocked by either locked doors or curtains, which were smaller rooms all the corpses were in.
There was also a TV, and it was hooked up to a VCR that, even in the dream, I thought was playing something like Silent Hill Four.
I didn't want to watch the video. I always have nightmares about being forced to watch horrible, horrible movies that scare me to death. But I couldn't look away, like I usually can in those dreams. I was just focused on the screen, and it really was scary. There were distorted children's faces that would change, and each of them kept saying, "it's time to open the door", and the entire house started shaking and I started crying I was so afraid.
But there was this voice that I could hear really vaguely, and it soothed me, like it was honestly trying to calm me down and telling me not to be afraid. And, finally, the TV and my vision went white and the house felt like it exploded, but when I could see again, all the doors had burst open.
I was scared again, until I saw what was coming out. There were people, and children, but they weren't ugly and deformed, they looked like they'd been brought back to life and they were all so happy that I ran into one of the rooms, and they were just pouring through.
I can't remember what happened exactly, but I do recall that they all came into that room that I'd been in, and I could tell how pleased they were, and it made me feel so good. But I also knew there were more people still dead.
Then the voice started directing me to this curtain, and as I was moving towards it, it looked rotten, like diseased flesh, and I didn't want to touch it but it was telling me I had to. So I grabbed it, and I really didn't know what to do, but the voice said it was time to start counting, and I was terrified all over again because I didn't know what it meant.
And as it started counting down from ten, the house started shaking again, even harder, and the curtain felt like it was trying to rip itself out of my hands and I started crying again, but when the voice finally reached 'one', it just stopped.
I went into the room, and there was an old man and his granddaughter in the bed, both of them dead. Their skin looked like the curtain, and I could tell where chunks had just rotted off and I could see the meat underneath and it almost made me sick. I couldn't leave, though, as the voice was telling me to go help them. So I stepped over to the side of the bed, and I could feel my hands getting really warm, and I just... moved them over the little girl's face.
And it actually fixed her. Like her rotten skin just disappeared and she looked healthy again and started breathing. And as I moved to help the old man,
I just woke up.
|
|
| Holy crap, what a week. |
[ | |
Posted on March 07, 2007 @ 1:03 pm
| | ] |
|
And it's only Wednesday too.
So, Monday was pretty damn great, which, in and of itself, is an incredible feat for a Monday to accomplish. But it really, really was. Sunday was good too, which may have rubbed off on it, but I don't care. I watched The Breakfast Club and Kaitlin came over to see Zoolander with me, I had two liters of Diet Coke with Splenda and the world was good.
Then Monday, where I got to jack around at school and not do anything important. It was wonderful, and after we were finished with our work in Algebra II, Patrick introduced me to two new songs I've never heard and am now in love with. ): Evil by Interpol and I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness, both of which I've been listening to on repeat for three days now and I'm absolutely addicted.
And before that, during Sociology, I went and talked to Mrs. Lancaster (my counselor) about everything I've been stressing about and managed to get so much off my chest. I didn't even cry, and I'm awfully proud. I missed the whole period too, and she helped me sort out everything, helped alleve my fears and got me to agree to do the SAT in April so I can get it out of the way my Junior year. (: It was good times.
Then yesterday - I got the candy T sent me! ♥ It's been delicious. And we didn't have to do anything in Algebra II or Sociology, we made soap in Chemistry which actually kind of sucked, but it was funny anyway because Chante put the wrong beaker over the flame and almost killed us all.
Then today. A Wednesday. I had the freakin' British substitute. FINALLY.
Oh my God it was the most hilarious thing I believe I have ever seen. He was so British and angry. I think British people are the meanest people on the planet. It was so funny. ): He kept yelling at Meosha and said "bloody" a lot, and she goes, "ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?" and he responds with, "YEAH."
I enjoy him even though he looks like a grumpy Santa Claus. And the best part is, I'll be having him for the rest of the week. Hooray! I'm ridiculously excited about this if for no other reason than the fact that I have a little infatuation with English people.
But anyway. Tomorrow's Thursday and then only one more day until Spring Break. I can sleep as many ridonkulous hours as I want for an entire week! Yay!
Peace, guys. Hope your week has been as groovy as mine has.
|
|
| Well. I'm certainly embarrassed. |
[ | |
Posted on March 04, 2007 @ 4:38 pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
I feel like a titty baby. |
] |
So, I saw most of The Breakfast Club today, which I really, really liked. Mm, John. How you doin'.
But anyway. It was a good movie. I lawled a lot. V. entertaining as I tried to sort of clean my room. And then it got to the end and started playing "Don't You (Forget About Me)", and I got all teary and almost started crying. It wasn't even a sad ending. I just like the song. ):
I have no idea why I almost cried like a little whinerbaby. But I did.
Am v. embarrassed.
|
|
| My God. |
[ | |
Posted on February 28, 2007 @ 4:22 pm
| | ] |
|
Once again, I'm being forced to acknowledge what a horrifying person I am to get into a fight with.
Seriously. It's so easy to avoid a verbal throwdown with me, it is. But once it does happen, it seems easier to get into an argument than it used to be, and I never realized why until today. Chances are, I'm still irritated about the last time we fought, even if it happened months ago.
This is ridiculous, I know. I am fully aware of this fact. But I really can't help it. I'm a bit like a man in this regard; I don't fix things, I simply keep them bottled until they reach the point where I can't take it any more and then the bottle explodes into thousands of ugly pieces and whatever awful things I've contained in it have mutated by now and they all seep out. It's horrible.
If we do actually fix things, then that's great, and I can reflect on the fight without getting angry. But I will never. Ever. Ever. Forget the hurtful things that have been said to me. I will most likely carry them with me until the day I die. I think this is the biggest reason for getting into even more fights with friends I've already fought with, because I don't forget them, even if the other person didn't mean it.
That, or I'm still annoyed with whatever it is we got into the fight about in the first place, even if it's supposed to have been "fixed". I don't understand why I do this, and I'm not yet sure how to make it go away, or if it's even possible to make it stop, but at least I'm trying.
Curse this elephant-like memory of mine. I don't think it will ever let me have any peace.
|
|
| Lo and behold! |
[ | |
Posted on February 27, 2007 @ 7:27 pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
groovy. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
juli ; dieses leben. |
] |
http://jnx_inc.livejournal.com/
So - I made a new RP LiveJournal (because Mightier is a genius, damn it). I think from now on, I'd really like to have my role-plays there, that way I can keep track of them all, I always receive alerts when someone replies to one of my entries so I can respond accordingly, and also I'm addicted to making LJs apparently because they are pretty and I have a love-hate relationship with codes from Tasha.
But anyway. Add me, fools! ♥ It will be all sorts of good times.
|
|
| Well. In retrospect. |
[ | |
Posted on February 27, 2007 @ 7:09 pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
I'm sorry you guys really. |
] |
I'm a little embarrassed I got so upset over a Diet Coke and a Kitkat. Although -- in my defense -- I was already tired and not feeling well and also Diet Coke and Kitkats are the most delicious things on the plant.
It's true.
|
|
| What a fucking fantastic day. |
[ | |
Posted on February 23, 2007 @ 6:12 pm
| | ] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
ridiculously angry. |
] |
God should make it a sin for Fridays to be shitty.
Ugh.
So. I decided not to go to Corpus Christi because mother told me that basically all we were going to do was hang out at the hotel for two days. I, personally, think it's a fucking waste of being stuck in a tiny jeep for six hours with four retards, so I tell her I don't want to go any more.
She says fine, so I go and take a nap and wait for them to fucking leave so I can get on the computer.
When I wake up, I go to the fridge for my diet coke and my kitkat bar only to find one bottle missing and my fucking kitkat gone. My mother had logged off the computer and changed everyone's password. My brother acts like a fucking twat to me. And I'm ready to just fucking kill somebody. Apparently my mom took my coke and my candy, and it's ridiculous how much this pisses me off.
Seriously. I'm infuriated. Someone's going to reimburse me for my god damned snacks. If Corey is going to be allowed to horde food he doesn't want us to have, I think that's justification enough for me to not share my food with anyone either.
Fuck my entire family.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
